Willow Breeze
Posted in Home Decor Candles on 04/24/2008 02:18 pm by admin
How's this for a beginning of a story poem?
this poem is a introductory to a story. . . tell me if you think it is good.
The tips of the Sun's fingers touched the lake,
Little Diamonds dance, over the water in a wake.
A Breeze races across the skies,
Spreading gossip; lies.
The Weeping Willow tossing its arms in dance,
Beautiful, even at a glance.
Shadows join the Willow's Dance
Over the Water's stance
Feet thud over the packed earth;
The Earth's very heart beat
In joyful Murth
Come to meet
At the Lake's Edge
how's that? should i take away, or add more?
Very descriptive! I could imagine the willow and the breeze and your use of personification and alliteration is good.
Keep going...
You will do well.
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